The Economist recently rated Canada’s biggest city the best place on Earth to live, but it’s not all that… even if it does have the CN Tower, whose mere presence subconsciously makes this page look more official just by stretching its long concrete column high into the sky. At The Ex-Press, we may be in awe of Toronto’s smoggy swagger, but we came up with a few reasons to take a forensic look at The Economist’s reckoning. We’ve titled the liabilities on our balance sheet…
Toronto is always happy to see you.
TEN REASONS WHY TORONTO SUCKS
1. It’s not a goal until Toronto looks at the replay.
2. That big tower thing seems to be overcompensating for something.
3. People dress off the mannequin.
4. It’s all about money. (No doubt accounting for The Economist’s ranking.)
5. They think they represent the rest of English Canada…. and we have no say, because they own us all.
6. It smells bad.
7. You have to drink in a private club to be considered cool.
8. They can’t laugh at themselves… (just kidding, eh?)
9. No really. It’s about the money, and where you live, and where your kids go to school.
10. Two words: Leaf Nation (speaking of which, who makes a maple leaf blue? Is it a Tory thing? Or do you just have to make all Canadian icons your own?)
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