Journalist takes Labour Day weekend literally
The Daddy Diary: Labour with help from Jack Bauer
An expecting first-time father channels the spirit of a super agent as he faces the unknown, an earful of Portuguese expletives and the beautiful face of a brand new baby girl
By Chris Lackner
A gentle voice. "Wake up, babe. My water just broke. She's coming."
Two minutes of unintelligible, groggy mumbling, and then: "Are you sure it isn't one of those fake things? You know, Higgs boson... or whatever its called?"
Sigh. "Higgs boson is a particle (my wife is a scientist). Braxton Hicks are fake contractions... (again gently) there's no such thing as fake water breaking."
"Oh." The panic sets in, and I immediately forget everything I learned in our prenatal class. I silently (for fear of being slapped) ask myself one thing: "How would Jack Bauer handle this?"
We're desperately gathering everything on our hospital checklist at the front door. From clothes to food, and Gatorade to diapers. The baby is two ...
Parental Mental Training Begins
The Daddy Diary: Part 3
When you feel that baby kung-fu kicking, fatherhood suddenly feels concrete and you realize that a tiny little person will see you as their Mr. Miyagi
“Wax on, wax off. Don't forget to breathe, very important.” – Mr. Miyagi, Karate Kid (1984)
By Chris Lackner
Our baby is going to be a karate kid or, better yet, a ninja.
With the amount of kicking going on in mom’s belly these days, it’s either ninja or international soccer star – which would certainly make the baby’s Brazilian grandparents happy. (I’d like to think our child will dream big, and become the world’s first double threat: a ninja footballer).
While I’ve always wanted to raise a little Zen warrior (mainly for all the money I’d save on home security… but also for the free car waxing), this third trimester kicking phase is an important one for all dads-to-be. It’s the first time fatherhood feels concrete – more than an abstract concept. It’s a period where ...
Pop Culture Decoder: Pregnancy
Misty Harris deciphers why society is obsessed with pregnant women
By Misty Harris
People love pregnancy news, which is perhaps why the tabloids are constantly making it up (a good rule is that even if “multiple sources” confirm a celebrity pregnancy, the story is not to be believed unless one of those sources is the woman’s pee stick). To observe this cultural obsession is to assume that having a baby is a kind of superpower – which, in a way, I suppose it is; pregnant women are like NFL players in their capacity to get away with almost anything.
As for why the intrigue prevails after all this time, well, that’s a question for this week’s Decoder. Let’s make like Amanda Bynes and jump into a breakdown:
Housing a human is badass: It’s impossible to overstate the awe factor of knowing that a living being is growing inside someone; just ask the producers of the Alien movies, who are probably still counting their money. Regardless of ...