Toronto: Why It Sucks

The Economist recently rated Canada's biggest city the best place on Earth to live, but it's not all that… even if it does have the CN Tower, whose mere presence subconsciously makes this page look more official just by stretching its long concrete column high into the sky. At The Ex-Press, we may be in awe of Toronto's smoggy swagger, but we came up with a few reasons to take a forensic look at The Economist's reckoning. We've titled the liabilities on our balance sheet... TEN REASONS WHY TORONTO SUCKS 1. It's not a goal until Toronto looks at the replay. 2. That big tower thing seems to be overcompensating for something. 3. People dress off the mannequin. 4. It's all about money. (No doubt accounting for The Economist's ranking.) 5. They think they represent the rest of English Canada…. and we have no say, because they own us all. 6. It smells bad. 7. You have to drink in a private club to be considered cool. 8. They can't laugh at themselve...
3Score

Low-brow low blows bring pleasant punch to Get Hard

Movie review: Get Hard Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart successfully skewer racist stereotype in a surprisingly edgy story of a banker looking to survive a stint in prison
3.5Score

Olive Kitteridge: HBO miniseries showcases McDormand’s killer sardonic skills

OLIVE KITTERIDGE (2014, HBO Miniseries) Starring: Frances McDormand, Richard Jenkins, Bill Murray. Directed by: Lisa Cholodenko. Three and a half stars out of five Watching Frances McDormand’s face is a bit like reading a great Victorian novel. She may be giving us a straightforward chunk of dialogue, but beneath the surface, an entirely different narrative is taking place. Beneath every wrinkle lies a wealth of understated passions, existential awareness and razor-sharp wit that brings emotional currency to every role, including her turn as Olive Kitteridge, the central character in Elizabeth Strout’s 2008 novel. Reunited with her Laurel Canyon director Lisa Cholodenko, McDormand takes this story of a smart, but calloused schoolteacher to the very edge of melodrama without losing her balance, which is probably the miniseries’ biggest victory because its very structure screams soap opera. With Richard Jenkins and Bill Murray sharing the frames, we get a little breathing ...
4Score

I Wake Up Screaming: An eggs and break-your-legs film noir feast

I Wake Up Screaming (1941 FOX) Starring: Betty Grable, Victor Mature, Carole Landis, Laird Cregar Directed by: H. Bruce Humberstone Four stars out of five Whether it’s the spontaneous eruptions of Over the Rainbow steaming through the score, the bizarre screen presence of Laird Cregar as a creepy cop with perfect elocution, or the architectural angles of Victor Mature’s eyebrows, there’s more than one reason why this seminal piece of film noir is nothing short of a wacky masterpiece. Shot just before the attack on Pearl Harbor, and riddled with allusions to mounting political tensions, this adaptation of Steve Fisher’s novel ‘Hot Spot’ still feels contemporary thanks to its thematic obsession with celebrity. Carole Landis plays Vicky, a diner waitress who becomes the Eliza Doolittle of a sports promoter played by Mature. At first, her success is welcomed as part of a game, but when she announces she’s bailing on New York for a movie career in Los Angeles, ...

PROFILE: MICHAEL SNOW

MICHAEL SNOW Born 1929, Toronto, Ont. If there were ever a perfect image of the Canadian psyche -- it’s that of Snow. Born with the perfect name and a desire to make us aware of negative space, Snow may be a grandaddy in the context of this book, but as Atom Egoyan’s foreword makes clear, his vision of the world has framed much of the Canadian film experience for generations past - and no doubt generations to come. For a guy concerned with the mechanics of framing, it’s a fitting legacy. Born in the very crust of the Canadian establishment, raised in Toronto’s tony Rosedale district, and funnelled through its favored institution -- Upper Canada College -- Snow was born to be a bank president. The fact that he became an artist makes him an original rebel, as his entire life’s path turned him into a living artwork defined in opposition to institutional ways of thinking. Already a painter and sculptor, Snow’s formal film career began in 1956, when he joined George ...
2Score

Sean Penn locks, loads and loses it in The Gunman

It's some fast times for a weary CIA spy in Pierre Morel's schlocky thriller featuring Penn as a feisty character named Jim Terrier   -30-

HARKEMA’S GIRL TROUBLE

A GIRL IS A GIRL (1999): The first feature film from Vancouver-based film-maker Reg Harkema (editor of Hard Core Logo, Twilight of the Ice Nymphs, Last Night), A Girl is a Girl is a kinder, gentler meditation on Canadian alienation as it tells the story of Trevor (McIntyre), a really nice guy looking for a that one perfect girl. Little does Trevor know he’s a victim of mass media marketing campaigns, and really, there is no such thing as the smart, funny, Sports Illustrated swimsuit model who lives and breathes to make Trevor feel good about himself. Instead, women are just people -- or, as the title suggests: a girl is really just a girl. For the bulk of this offbeat charmer, we watch Trevor make an ass of himself in a variety of ways, with a variety of different women. There is Lisa, the ex-model with the eating disorder, Lisa, the rocker chick and Karen, as he slowly comes to accept the lack of feminine perfection -- not to mention his own shortcomings. Good dialogue, strong ...

ROBERT LEPAGE BIOGRAPHY

Biography: Robert Lepage Born: 1957, Quebec City A Renaissance man with a modernist’s flair for re-inventing media, Robert Lepage is one of the most exciting visual narrators in Canadian cinema -- a talent that may be explained by his entrance to film via theatre. Born into a working class family which had already adopted two English-Canadian children, Lepage was always interested in performance, a passion that eventually led him to Quebec City’s Conservatoire d’art dramatique. He was an engaged student, and when he graduated in 1977, he could write, direct, act and execute elaborate stage designs -- but had no particular area of expertise. After a three-week workshop with Alain Knapp in Paris, he returned to Quebec and formed Theatre Hummm with Richard Fréchette. The two produced award-winning work and from there, Lepage hooked up with Théâtre Repère, an established troupe, where he would stage works such as Tectonic Plates, En attendant and The Dragon’s Trilogy ...

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:

WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE? Pretty sure it has something to do with love. WHERE IS THE BATHROOM? Down the hall. WTF IS THIS? Right now, an experiment with one intention: To enable the ex-press to express themselves, and allow creators to retain control of content. WHO THE F… ARE YOU? People who worked in corporate journalism and either called it quits, were rendered redundant, or stormed out of the newsroom to make a statement, couldn't find their security card and were too proud to ever return (true story). WHY IS THERE SO LITTLE IN THIS P.O.S? We're still beta. So let's not fight.

NEWS BEGINNINGS

This started as boiler plate text, but as I type the very first words for The Ex-Press, I see Oscar was on to something: One has to look forward; the past is no longer an option… I'd tell you more but there are legal things to sort out at the moment.