Mom is the Flash, Dad is the Slow
Daddy Diary: Part Seven
Faster than an unfired bullet: A first-time father discovers his superpower has nothing to do with speed, and everything to do with slowing down to a snail's pace
By Chris Lackner
“This is a job for… The Slow.”
That’s my superhero name at home these days — prompted by my less-than lightning flash responses to my newborn daughter’s needs.
Mom may be The Flash, but dad is decidedly less so. “Faster than an unfired bullet. More powerful than your average eight-year-old. Able to leap tall stuffed animals in a single bound (on his good days). He is… The Slow.”
Is Dad on diaper duty? Triple or quadruple the time required to complete the task. Is Dad sent to find some kind of baby item — cloth, blanket, toy, cream, soother etc.? Don’t wait up for him; he’ll be back before dawn.
It’s not that I decided to become The Slow. No superhero chooses their destiny – their destiny is thrust upon them. With great power comes great ...
The Lioness doesn’t sleep tonight
The Daddy Diary: Part Six
A first-time father faces the surreal and sometimes lonely experience of looking in from the outside with a tender heart full of slumber-inducing song
By Chris Lackner
"In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight."
Good for him. In my "jungle" — AKA house — there isn't much sleeping going on (especially for mom). Such is the life of newbie parents. Our little lioness has a mighty roar — mightiest after the sun goes down.
Our girl’s hunger — and gas-fueled bellow — is only satiated by two things: breast milk and songs (with musical numbers finishing a distant, distant second).
Our baby instinctively knows how to lay in wait and then pounce on her parental prey when we are at our most vulnerable. Is dad trying to watch the ninth-inning drama of a playoff race? Yup. Cue the crying. Are mom and dad trying for the 15th time that night to stream more than three minutes in a row of one TV episode? Yup. Cue our mighty ...
Parental Mental Training Begins
The Daddy Diary: Part 3
When you feel that baby kung-fu kicking, fatherhood suddenly feels concrete and you realize that a tiny little person will see you as their Mr. Miyagi
“Wax on, wax off. Don't forget to breathe, very important.” – Mr. Miyagi, Karate Kid (1984)
By Chris Lackner
Our baby is going to be a karate kid or, better yet, a ninja.
With the amount of kicking going on in mom’s belly these days, it’s either ninja or international soccer star – which would certainly make the baby’s Brazilian grandparents happy. (I’d like to think our child will dream big, and become the world’s first double threat: a ninja footballer).
While I’ve always wanted to raise a little Zen warrior (mainly for all the money I’d save on home security… but also for the free car waxing), this third trimester kicking phase is an important one for all dads-to-be. It’s the first time fatherhood feels concrete – more than an abstract concept. It’s a period where ...
